Thursday, April 24

As She Walked Away - Some stories are better left incomplete..

You can only relate to the pain if you have already been through it. The shortness of breath which seizes to be under your control, the wandering thoughts which wanders the empty tracks of past, now seems to be exhausted, decaying and eventually dying. I wanted to stop her, I wanted to refuse when she asked me to leave her, but I could not. I did not utter a single word, as if the mind had stopped thinking and the heart beats left their track.

She was standing in front of me, I wanted to say a lot, wanted to tell her to wait, and make her understand. She was everything I ever dreamt of and I could not afford to lose her. How could I? She would be losing a moment in her world, I was losing my world in that moment. I wanted to convey everything, but I stood there, conveying just my silence.. which was an approval of what she wanted.

I do not know why she wanted to leave me, I did love her, so did she. What were the mistakes? we both were perfect and everything seemed alright! There were some common truths to be spoken, but those things would have come to their terms slowly and gradually. It was just ten months, that we had been together. Ten months. I wanted to live ages with her, wanted to grow old with her.

 She was the present I lived, and the future I thought, I never wanted her to be the past I'd remember. But.. often what we think, is not what happens. Maybe because we shape ourselves in that note, sometimes, we tend to think of every situation negatively, and sometimes, probably positive. None of which is true.

I had tried harder, tried a lot. There was no one to hear the shouts I screamed, there was no one to wipe the tears which flowed, deep down somewhere, in the soul. I was looking at her, she was looking at me. She had told her decision, I had quietly agreed in the state of being numb.

She was walking away. Leaving behind everything. The moments we shared, the joys we shared, the happiness of her share, and the tears too. She had given me all back, and was walking away. I could not call her, I could not tell her to wait, I was numb. How often in life, do we get into situations where everything happens very slowly yet you do not have any control on them. You just watch things happen and somewhere deep inside, gather strength to face the consequences. Because.. at that moment you do not have energy to fight the happenings and shape the consequences.

With every blank moment, she was going farther, farther away. Oh how I wish, I could gather some strength, walk up to her, hold her by arm and tell her that it is fine, we will do it. I love you and I won't let you go. But it was not to be.

And there she went, went away from the castles of dream I had constructed for her, from the palace of love, I had designed for her, beautiful as she was. She went without turning back, but I kept looking at her. She was plain beautiful, the same, when she walked into my life. She went, and the road now seemed empty. The dreams were broken, the palaces ruined. The hopes crushed, and the vision blurry...

Its been 8 years now, those moments do not leave me. She is now like a sweet memory which is stored somewhere deep inside me. A thought of her, once a day makes me alive, makes me happy. She came, she loved, and she went. It was as if a beautiful dream had come to an end, but her memories would always be with me. I had always wished her happiness, and it lied in leaving me, so how could I say no? Because there is no past tense in love, its either you still do, or you never did.

Saturday, April 19

The Art Of Tray - Depiction Of God Shiva, Nataraj.

About Nataraj
Nataraja or Nataraj, is a depiction of the god Shiva as the cosmic dancer who performs his divine dance to destroy a weary universe and make preparations for the god Brahma to start the process of creation.

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Clicked by- Tanishq Sharma

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Thursday, April 17

Physical Appearance - Does It Matter?

Martin Luther King Jr. once said in his acclaimed 'I have a dream' speech,
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today. 
I think his dream still needs some doing, for today, if not by the color of one's skin, people are still judged everywhere, by their bodily characteristics.

A person in true sense should be known by his deeds, skills, opinions and actions, for those are the
factors that determine the outcome of one’s life. Although, in today’s age, physical appearance is
what pleases the masses more than one’s entire being, deeds and accolades.

People judge you by your physical appearance more than what you really stand for. For instance, when the cricketing legend, the God himself, Sachin Tendulkar came around, they called him a little prick who got lucky and that he won’t last long enough. Where are those people who were trembling with confidence of their verdict back then? Giving their verdict on another ‘prick’, perhaps :).

Family gatherings, classes, coaching, or be it public places, you are judged merely on the basis of your appearance.
Physical appearance is not something you work towards, it’s something bestowed upon you naturally and it shouldn't act as an impediment to further any cause in life, unless you’re a movie star. Even the quintessential movie star should exemplify scintillating stagecraft rather than just flaunting his/her body to no avail.

I am against this judgmental mind-set that most people exhibit, only to curb talent, and further an aesthetically pleasing person. It is rightly said that one shouldn't judge a book by its cover, then why judge a person solely on outward form? It is human psychology to find a person’s happy demeanor or aesthetics appealing.

Appearance can direct a person’s life! For instance, things happen differently for a beautiful woman than a plain one. Why can’t things transpire the way they ought to for everyone? That’s a question we all can answer, not by our words, but by our actions.

- Pratham Agarwal

Note : This post is written by Pratham Agarwal  as a guest post under Captive Of Thoughts.

Monday, April 14

The truth which 'lied' in front of me - Some Stories Are Better Left Incomplete..

She was lying on the bed. Helpless, weak and unable to move. Her face had turned white, which now matched the color of the clothing the hospital had provided her. I was looking at her, close and plain. I was holding her hand tightly, to tell her that I am still there. To tell her, I am still with you, I am holding on and you can fight the battle.

She wasn't listening to me, I knew. She did not know that I was around her or anyone for that matter. It had been 8 days since she was in coma, after the traumatic accident happened.
It all happened in the blink of an eye, I can't blame her, it was not her mistake. It was the driver of that truck who had taken the wrong cut, out of the blue and she was left behind to face the consequences.
Past 8 days, She hasn't got up, and I haven't slept. I could not. Something in me, does not allow me to sleep, does not allow me to eat, does not allow me to live. I want her alright, I want her okay, I want her to be the same as she was, joyful, loving, caring, and mine. She was always full of life, but probably, it was the only thing she was lacking right now.

I was not ready to accept the fact, accept the truth which lied in front of me.

I kept holding her tightly, maybe she needed it. Maybe she knew deep inside that I was there for her. I was holding her tight and right. That I was not letting her go away. That I am beside her as I always was and always will. Nothing could take her away from me, she was mine and I would not give up.

All I had done last 8 days was to talk to her, to look at her and to contemplate her beauty.
"Aaj hum bahar khayenge. Okay Rahul?", She had told me while coming back from office that night.
I was there, on the phone. I had witnessed my love strangling, facing death.

How could I? I blamed myself. Maybe that night,If I would have picked her up from office and would have taken her somewhere, she would have been alright. How could I.
There were million things which ran through my mind, my body and my soul in last 8 days. My mind was exhausted, my feelings were exhausted and my soul, cried a song of defeat.

I cursed god, why  her? She was my everything. Everything good that has happened to me. How could he be so cruel?. Maybe my answers were the silent hopes. I looked at her again, she was still numb, as the water in a silent pond.  

I kept holding her hand. It was night time, probably another night when I will not sleep. I kept looking at her, talked to her, told her that everyone was missing her and she needs to get well soon. Everyone is planning a trip with her, and won't go without her, I told her.
With every word I said, a tear came out. I stopped it, I told it that nothing is going to happen. You don't need  to flow. She is absolutely fine, she is mine and I will not let anything happen to her.

I kept my head at the side of her bed as I cried to no extent. Maybe my body had given up, and my soul was tired of crying, maybe no more tears were there inside of me. As I lay there, I could feel something tight in my hand!
She was tightening her hold, making me feel assured that she is getting better. I got up suddenly, all my tiredness vanished and I felt happy at the same moment. She was responding finally, She was coming back. 

It did not take much time, she opened her eyes. I could not believe myself. Tears of happiness flowed through my eyes, and I was speechless. She was looking at me, recognizing me. She cried as well, and I hugged her tightly. She had no strength, no might to show how she felt. Everything around me had stopped. There was a sense of complete happiness, when I saw her opening her eyes and giving me a small smile.
I got up to call the doctor, she caught my hand tightly. She had tightened her hold and did not allow me to call. I explained her but she refused. She removed the oxygen gas and sat up alright on the bed and hugged me. 

She told me how much she loved me, she told me how much I mean to her. She told me everything she wanted to. I did not stop her, I was looking at her and crying as she did the same while speaking. I told her to calm down and told her we will talk when we back to home.

She kept quite. There was a strange silence. Something which did not feel familiar. 
"I do not have much time, love.", She told. I asked her what is she saying and got angry on her for saying such a thing. She was alright now. She came close to me, and she fell in my arms and it seemed as if my life had fell to the death.

I woke up suddenly, from the bedside I had kept my head on while crying for her. She lay there on the bed, as she did from last 8 days but this time, probably it was forever... I had lost her. I realized, It was all over for me, for life and everything to come in it as she lied there, sleeping forever...

Tanishq Sharma

Sunday, April 13

The Art Of Tray - In the midst of Worship.

“It was not intended as a compliment. It was a confession. Now that I have made it, something seems to have gone out of me. Perhaps one should never put one's worship into words.” 
― Oscar Wilde

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Clicked By Tanishq Sharma.

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Saturday, April 12

The Art Of Tray - There is we alone, and I together.

The darkness now seems to be withdrawn, from the ruins once shattered.
I stand at the summit of depth, holding strong the hope, and believe in my eyes, wide.
Appreciations won't matter to me, as long as I do not satisfy myself.
There are dreams to be fulfilled, there are voices to be heard.
There are tears to be cried and laughter to be heard.
There is we alone, and I together. :)

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Thursday, April 10

The Art Of Tray - Global Vipassana Pagoda

Here to the new section under Captive Of Thoughts! - The Art Tray

"Attitudes are mirrors of the mind, they reflect thinking."

The picture is clicked at Global Vipassana Pagoda, Gorai, Mumbai.
Something about Global Vipassana Pagoda

The center of the Global Vipassana Pagoda contains the world's largest stone dome built without any supporting pillars. The height of the dome is approximately 29 metres, while the height of the building is 96.12 meters, which is twice the size of the previously largest hollow stone monument in the world, the Gol Gumbaz Dome in Bijapur, India.

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Wednesday, April 2

Jaise rooth gaye ho apne humse - जैसे रूठ गए हो हमारे हमसे

Hai dhundhta woh andhero mein roshni aise, Ho gayi hai ghum, haathon se lakire jaise...

Kuch puchti hai ye tanhai humse 
Kuch gungunati ye gherai humse 
Hai lekin khamosh hum 
Jaise rooth gaye ho shabd humse
Jaise rooth gaye ho apne humse

Hai nazron mein laakh sapne saja rakhe 
Hai khwaisho mein laakh umeeda daba rakhi 
Hai lekin khamosh hum
Jaise rooth gaye ho sapne humne
Jaise rooth gaye ho apne humse

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